Get to know your prostate massager
What is the Prostate?
The Prostate is a small walnut-shaped gland that is located just underneath the bladder. The general purpose of the prostate is to produce an alkaline fluid that makes up 50-75% of the volume of semen during ejaculation
When a man ejaculates, sperm is transmitted from the testicles, into the urethra via the ejaculatory glands, which lie within the prostate. This process can be achieved solely through prostate stimulation (prostate massage) or anal sex.
How do I find my Prostate?
The best way of locating your prostate initially is digitally (using a finger). Using a bit of lube on your finger and insert into the anus. The prostate can be reached about 3 inches into the anal cavity – and if you bend your finger into a ‘come hither’ motion (so that you are essentially pointing to your tummy) – you should feel a small gland that feels like a walnut. This is the prostate. Don’t be alarmed if you don’t find it straight away. Everybody is a little bit different, and it can take practice to find it. But that’s part of the fun!
What is Prostate Massage?
Simply, Prostate Massage can serve 2 functions. Medically, it is used to check for Prostate Cancer, or to help get a specimen of Expressed Prostate Secretion (EPS) to check for conditions such as Prostatitis. However, over the years it has become a popular sexual activity among men (and not just gay men).
The main purpose of prostate massage is to achieve orgasm. The prostate is often referred to as the ‘male g-spot’. Prostate stimulation can help improve erection size and strength, and increase the overall power of an orgasm (more so than just standard penile stimulation). Many men perform it during solo masturbation, or as part of couple’s foreplay/intercourse. You can achieve prostate massage through various means: digitally (fingering), anal sex or using toys (although it doesn’t have to be a prostate massager specifically – it can be a dildo or a butt plug).
What are Prostate Massagers?
Prostate Massagers are toys made with the explicit purpose of massaging the prostate. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but most follow a standard design, and this is a curved shaft with a tapered tip, to provide pin-point stimulation to the prostate.
Most prostate massagers offer a vibration function, providing a new sensation during prostate play. Others are just standard plugs (such as Aneros), which are used manually to provide stimulation. What type of massager you use is entirely personal preference. Some people like vibrations, some don’t – but there are plenty of different types of massager to choose from, for beginners, right up to the advanced player.
How to insert a prostate massager?
Here’s how to insert a prostate massager correctly
We’ve broken down the process into easy bite-size steps to help ease you into inserting a prostate massager--the correct way.
Don’t skip the lube step, and don’t insert a prostate massager too quickly or without a “warm-up”. Both missteps may cause injury.
Step 0: Prep the bum, and the toy & gather clean-up aids
Prep the bum: For anal sex preparation, it’s not uncommon for folks to empty their bowels 1 to 2 hours before. This helps to ensure there will likely be no feces in the rectum. Some folks also choose to use an enema. These bum preparations are most often done when you are sharing the prostate massage experience with a partner.
Prep the toy: Make sure both your bum and sex toy are clean before you begin. Even if your toy is brand new, wash it with a gentle cleanser.
Prep the clean-up: The last prep step is to make sure you have the tools you need for a fast cleanup: towels, wet wipes, condoms for your toy, and/or gloves for finger play.
Condoms are great for inserting a prostate massager as you can easily tidy the area by removing the condom after use and throwing it away.
Step 1: Relax your bum muscles & find positioning
Relaxing your sphincter is a big deal when inserting anything into the bum. If your sphincter, a ring-shaped muscle that encloses the rectum, is too tense you may not be able to reach your prostate very well. A tense sphincter may cause the toy to graze the prostate vs. pinpoint it.
If your sphincter is persistently tense, you may consider anal training, a practice of training the sphincter muscles to relax.
Finding the position where your bum is most relaxed is a must. This can be tricky and takes trial and error.
For beginners, try inserting the toy while you are on your back, knees, or your side with one knee up toward your belly.
Step 2: Get aroused & warm up the area with a finger
Don’t go in cold. When you do insert a prostate massager you should be “warmed up” to anal stimulation, and sexually aroused.
Begin by inserting a lubricated finger and allow your body to get used to this for a bit. Take things very slow here. You can manually stimulate the prostate here too if you want to get things started.
And definitely feel free to stoke the penis or stimulate the testicles too. Boost that arousal level before inserting a prostate massager. (Just don’t bring yourself to orgasm yet.)
Doing this helps those sphincter muscles relax so you can easily receive the massager, and it produces more pleasure.
Step 3: Lube it up ( A MUST )
Rectums do not produce their own lubrication. You must bring that into the equation. Use a water-based, toy-safe, silicone-free lubricant on both the toy and your anus opening.
Do NOT be shy with the lubricant. The less friction, the better you’ll feel.
Step 4: Use the vibrator just at the anus opening
This is optional but using the vibrator function of the massager just on the opening of your anus can help everything relax even more. As you use the vibrator you’ll find your sphincter becomes more and more relaxed.
This is a great step for those who are new to anal play.
Step 5: Gently and slowly insert with the curve facing your belly
The prostate is inside the body and up toward the penis.
So, ensure that the curve of the toy is facing the front of your body (not your back) and begin slowly, slowly, inserting the prostate massager.
Listen to your body. If you experience pain–stop.
Don’t move the prostate massager back and forth, but rather inch it upward into the rectum. The goal is putting constant pressure on the prostate.
Your body will speak to you– if you’re relaxed enough to receive the toy you won’t have major resistance and you’re free to go on in.
If you sense tenseness, slowly ease the toy in and focus on relaxing the bum.
Step 6: Turn on your remote control prostate massager and/or lift your rectum muscles
If your prostate massager has a remote control (all the best ones do) use this to turn the vibration on. Start at the lowest setting for a while before exploring more.
Once the massager is inserted fully, it may also be a good idea to “lift up” the anus muscle in a pulse-like motion. This may enhance stimulation.
Tips for Beginners
If you're interested in exploring anal play, it's important to approach it with caution and education. Here are some tips for beginners:
- Start slow: Begin with small toys or fingers and gradually work your way up to larger sizes.
- Use plenty of lubrication: The anus and rectum do not self-lubricate like the vagina, so it's important to use a high-quality lubricant to prevent discomfort and injury.
- Communicate with your partner: Anal play requires clear communication and consent from all parties involved. Make sure to establish boundaries and expectations before beginning.
- Practice good hygiene: The anus and rectum are home to many bacteria, so it's important to practice good hygiene before and after anal play. This includes washing with soap and water and using a disinfectant toy cleaner.